Learning Life's Lenses

When I was 12 years-old, back in the day, taking the bus with your best friend downtown to the Woolworths on 16th Street was a major event for a girl growing up in Denver. When that enormous Woolworths was built in the 60's, one block long and one block wide, you could spend a whole afternoon in there wandering around, exploring, eating, and having fun before it was time to turn around and catch the bus back home.  If you were lucky enough to have a quarter left over after bus-fare & a hoagie, then you might indulge in one of the most amazing experiences of all mankind, the Photomaton. 

Somewhere in various closets, boxes & scrapbooks, there are strips of black & white photos where my smiles, silly expressions & youth are frozen in time...not many but some.  After all, a quarter was a lot of money, back in the day, and you really had to think twice before indulging in such an extravagance.

Last night, barely 9 hours ago, I found myself sitting, I mean, standing (no seat),  in a Photomaton; not at Woolsworths, or an airport, or even the old  Elitch Gardens, but at a wedding, in the foyer of a synagogue, no less.  My future daughter-in-law, KatieE (to differentiate from KatieA, my current daughter-in-law) had enticed me in, dressed us both up in ridiculous props, and together we posed making the silliest expressions we could muster together without cracking up. This modern photomaton had a choice of either color OR black & white pictures, but KatieE picked black & white and in a few minutes the nice lady running the laptop (no developing chemical smells anymore) handed us our strip of poses.

There they were, the four little vertically arranged squares of frozen time. Me, a grandma in a sombrero, giving the camera my best Jodi expression (my baby sister's notoriously outlandish face scrunch guaranteed to make our mother laugh out loud) cheek-to-cheek with my beautiful future daughter-in-law, rolling our eyes together in a mutual conspiracy of hilarity. 

Did I look utterly ridiculous, outrageous & totally embarrass myself?

I sure did!

Did I behave in a manner not befitting a woman of my maturity?

Yes.

Did I care?

Not in the least.

And do you know why? Because in my heart and mind, I really wasn't focused on the camera lens which was focused on me. I was focused on memorizing those precious, cherished minutes with KatieE, in the booth, acting silly together and having fun.

I wanted to visualize the promise of a beautiful future together for her and my youngest son, not just in those wonderful, four fleeting snapshots of black & white time frozen on a strip of paper, but through the lens of my mind's eye where unpretentious, yet brilliantly vivid hues of joy, love & hope reside securely in my soul.

A Snuggly Moment

 

When my kids were babies, I carried them around in a Snuggly. I loved it because when the baby was sleeping, the side of his face would be against my heart and his legs would wrap around my sides. It was delicious. Talk about living in the moment. It was the ultimate moment.  As the kids grew up, I yearned for that feeling again, of peace, bliss, contentment, my child's heart beating against my own.

Alas, this past Shabbas, a special treat.

My 23-month-old grandson came to shul with me. While his daddy and great-grandparents were in the sanctuary (mommy was resting at home), JG and I sat with the other toddlers in the preschool. After awhile, however, he wanted to leave and as I carried him through the hallways towards the large entryway of the building, he started falling asleep on my shoulder.

I slowly sat down and reclined into a big plush chair and allowed JG's body to wrap around mine. His rosy cheeks melted into a deep sleep on my chest. His little brown extra-wide Shabbos shoes wrapped around each side of my waist. I leaned my head back, sank into the cushions and closed my eyes. And above me, suddenly the malfunctioning Shabbos speaker started working. Cantor Kutner's magnificent Hebrew chanting began mesmerizing me with his exquisite,  melodic voice.

I listened. I felt the weight of JG's body against mine; his heart beating. His beautiful long eyelashes accentuating his gorgeous face.  Oh, my love for this child!

Pure bliss.

The Joys of Research

Sometime during last month, around Christmas & Chanukah, I began asking myself some crazy questions:

1. Why is there so much arrogance and intolerance when it comes to religion?
2. Do people even know the history or reasons for the holidays they celebrate?
3. What does buying a bunch of crap at the mall and going into debt have to do with Christ’s birthday?
4. What does Jesus of Nazareth have to do with Santa Clause & light laden trees?

And if that isn’t enough, how about these:
1. How many generations did my family live in Russia before they immigrated to the United States?
2. How come blond hair and blue eyes run in my family if we are Jewish and Semitic?
3. Why do Jewish people tend to look like the other people in the countries they live in?
and..ta da, here's a big one!
4. Why don’t the Republican presidential candidates behave with dignity and stop disparaging Obama AND each other? (Disgusting!)

Well, guess what? I’ve doing a whole lot a reading lately. Thanks to the wonders of my handy dandy new Kindle that I got for my birthday (thanks guys!), the Denver Public Library, & the wonders of internet research, I've been learning a lot that either I never knew or I've just forgotten. Maybe it's my age, maybe it's being a grandma, maybe it's because I indulged in buying myself a new comfy, recliner that's back-friendly, but for the last couple of months, I've been carving 3 hours of reading time out of each morning before I go to work, or shul, or excercise.  What's going on with me?

I'd like to share with you some of what I've learned. My goal is not to induce controversy, only knowledge & understanding.

And, of course, good manners.
I invite your comments.